It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before.
Jane Austen

When a nominee for the Supreme Court, one of only nine lifetime appointments, makes an overtly brazen racist comment about tens of millions of American citizens, we don't need lectures. What we need to do is to confront her with what she said and what it says about her.
Rush Limbaugh

If God gave the soul his whole creation she would not be filled thereby but only with himself.
Meister Eckhart

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.
Chris Rock

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
Woody Allen

Nature, when she invented, manufactured, and patented her authors, contrived to make critics out of the chips that were left.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

Man's love is of man's life a part; it is a woman's whole existence. In her first passion, a woman loves her lover, in all the others all she loves is love.
Lord Byron

It was completely fruitless to quarrel with the world, whereas the quarrel with oneself was occasionally fruitful and always, she had to admit, interesting.
Soren Kierkegaard

In the long years liker they must grow; The man be more of woman, she of man.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

It was said of old Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough, that she never puts dots over her I s, to save ink.
Horace Walpole

I do not think I should care to go on worshipping a Madonna even if she did wink. One cannot make much out of a wink. We want something more than that from the object of our adoration.
Charles Spurgeon

When a man gives his opinion he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion she's a bitch.
Bette Davis

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Henny Youngman

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.
Henny Youngman

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
Henny Youngman

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
Henny Youngman