If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
Lenny Bruce

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up.
Lenny Bruce

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.
Dave Barry

You send a boy to school in order to make friends - the right sort.
Virginia Woolf

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Emo Philips

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.
Emo Philips

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds actually wasn't meant to say LSD. It was a drawing that John's son brought home from school. Lucy was a kid in his school.
Paul McCartney

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
Gracie Allen

I did movie star impressions as a kid in high school. Somehow they just got out of hand.
Don Adams

For some reason I did something where I realized I could get a reaction. That was when I broke out of my shell at school, because I really didn't have any friends or anything like that and I just kind of was going along, and then finally I did this zany thing, and all of a sudden I had tons of friends.
Jim Carrey

To be born woman is to know - although they do not speak of it at school - women must labor to be beautiful.
William Butler Yeats

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
Kurt Vonnegut

People react to fear, not love; they don't teach that in Sunday School, but it's true.
Richard M. Nixon

I was at the Royal Art School. That was a preparatory school specially for art teachers. You see, it was not so much for the development of artists. But we had there terribly stiff training.
Josef Albers

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
H. L. Mencken

Say there's a white kid who lives in a nice home, goes to an all-white school, and is pretty much having everything handed to him on a platter - for him to pick up a rap tape is incredible to me, because what that's saying is that he's living a fantasy life of rebellion.
Eminem

A Christian is nothing but a sinful man who has put himself to school for Christ for the honest purpose of becoming better.
Henry Ward Beecher

The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of eminent Christians, but a school for the education of imperfect ones.
Henry Ward Beecher

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Ambrose Bierce

Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me.
Conan O'Brien