So I'm ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.
Yogi Berra

I saw few die of hunger; of eating, a hundred thousand.
Benjamin Franklin

I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking," but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
Groucho Marx

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
Erma Bombeck

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
George Washington

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.
Mitch Hedberg

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.
Mitch Hedberg

That was always the difference between Muhammad Ali and the rest of us. He came, he saw, and if he didn't entirely conquer - he came as close as anybody we are likely to see in the lifetime of this doomed generation.
Hunter S. Thompson

Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. Relevant detail, couched in concrete, colorful language, is the best way to recreate the incident as it happened and to picture it for the audience.
Dale Carnegie

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
Rodney Dangerfield

A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw that God's truth is attacked and yet would remain silent.
John Calvin

I never saw, heard, nor read, that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular, but some degree of persecution.
Jonathan Swift

I never saw a discontented tree. They grip the ground as though they liked it, and though fast rooted they travel about as far as we do.
John Muir

I came, I saw, I conquered.
Julius Caesar

Many of us saw religion as harmless nonsense. Beliefs might lack all supporting evidence but, we thought, if people needed a crutch for consolation, where's the harm? September 11th changed all that.
Richard Dawkins

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Joan Rivers