No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
W. C. Fields

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields

Firearms are second only to the Constitution in importance; they are the peoples' liberty's teeth.
George Washington

I can only say that there is not a man living who wishes more sincerely than I do to see a plan adopted for the abolition of slavery.
George Washington

Bad seed is a robbery of the worst kind: for your pocket-book not only suffers by it, but your preparations are lost and a season passes away unimproved.
George Washington

It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a Free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even of his personal services to the defense of it.
George Washington

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Mitch Hedberg

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Mitch Hedberg

For all my years in public life, I have believed that America must sail toward the shores of liberty and justice for all. There is no end to that journey, only the next great voyage. We know the future will outlast all of us, but I believe that all of us will live on in the future we make.
Edward Kennedy

Thus, the controversy about the Moral Majority arises not only from its views, but from its name - which, in the minds of many, seems to imply that only one set of public policies is moral and only one majority can possibly be right.
Edward Kennedy

Today, we say the only thing we have to fear is four more years of George Bush.
Edward Kennedy

Not only must we be good, but we must also be good for something.
Henry David Thoreau

It is only when we forget all our learning that we begin to know.
Henry David Thoreau

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
Henry David Thoreau

The light which puts out our eyes is darkness to us. Only that day dawns to which we are awake. There is more day to dawn. The sun is but a morning star.
Henry David Thoreau

Every man casts a shadow; not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit. This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will, it falls opposite to the sun; short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?
Henry David Thoreau

In the long run, men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, they had better aim at something high.
Henry David Thoreau

Goodness is the only investment that never fails.
Henry David Thoreau

Only that day dawns to which we are awake.
Henry David Thoreau

Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.
Henry David Thoreau