Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Phyllis Diller

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
Dave Barry

My mother was determined to make us independent. When I was four years old, she stopped the car a few miles from our house and made me find my own way home across the fields. I got hopelessly lost.
Richard Branson

I was in a queer mood, thinking myself very old: but now I am a woman again - as I always am when I write.
Virginia Woolf

It's a funny old world.
Margaret Thatcher

Of course it's the same old story. Truth usually is the same old story.
Margaret Thatcher

I'm 23 years old. I might just be my mother's child, but in all reality, I'm everybody's child. Nobody raised me; I was raised in this society.
Tupac Shakur

We were pretty good mates until the Beatles started to split up and Yoko came into it. It was more like old army buddies splitting up on account of wedding bells.
Paul McCartney

Sometimes I put on a ski mask and dress in old clothes, go out on the streets and beg for quarters.
Mike Tyson

Whether we are New Dealer, Old Dealer, Liberty Leaguer or Red, whether we agree or not, we still have the right to think and speak how we feel.
Lyndon B. Johnson

It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.
Josh Billings

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
Josh Billings

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
Josh Billings

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
Josh Billings

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which mean never losing your enthusiasm.
Aldous Huxley

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that it's live. You know, it's like the same thing we do with Dick Cheney.
David Letterman

Our 'neoconservatives' are neither new nor conservative, but old as Bablyon and evil as Hell.
Edward Abbey

Some nights it was a melee, literally, where I'd be standing trying to defend myself for what I was doing. People would be screaming at me to do my old act, and getting actually violent and angry at me.
Jim Carrey

Life is an ordeal, albeit an exciting one, but I wouldn't trade it for the good old days of poverty and obscurity.
Jim Carrey

The sacred rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for among old parchments or musty records. They are written, as with a sunbeam, in the whole volume of human nature, by the hand of the divinity itself; and can never be erased.
Alexander Hamilton