With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
Rodney Dangerfield

How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?
Dr. Seuss

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield

Nature and nature's laws lay hid in the night. God said, Let Newton be! and all was light!
Alexander Pope

A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.
Chanakya

It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work - the night watchman.
Tallulah Bankhead

The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.
Tallulah Bankhead

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.
Will Rogers

We're introducing separate rooms with double beds in all of our planes so people can actually go with their partner and have a proper night's sleep.
Richard Branson

I see America spreading disaster. I see America as a black curse upon the world. I see a long night settling in and that mushroom which has poisoned the world withering at the roots.
Henry Miller

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
Edgar Allan Poe

I can find in my undergraduate classes, bright students who do not know that the stars rise and set at night, or even that the Sun is a star.
Carl Sagan

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window.
Peter Drucker

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies.
Charlie Sheen

Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh.
Charlie Sheen

I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs.
Andy Warhol

Death is delightful. Death is dawn, The waking from a weary night Of fevers unto truth and light.
James Russell Lowell