If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.
Jon Stewart

Australia is a huge rest home, where no unwelcome news is ever wafted on to the pages of the worst newspapers in the world.
Germaine Greer

We live in such a sheltered environment in the United States. I've been fortunate enough to have traveled all over the world, and I've seen things you only read about and see on the news.
Payne Stewart

This country is a better place because Fox News has succeeded.
Bill O'Reilly

I have the New York Daily News to thank for the jeans controversy.
Calvin Klein

Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
Fran Lebowitz

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.
Bertolt Brecht

It is an ill thing to be the first to bring news of ill.
Aeschylus

What they did was to make a pilot and it may well go to series at the next festival but I don't have any news on that. It's already been on Paramount actually, but as it's on Paramount it'll probably be on several more times... hopefully.
Jo Brand

Be able to notice all the confusion between fact and opinion that appears in the news.
Marilyn vos Savant

No news at 4:30 a.m. is good.
Lady Bird Johnson

When good news about the market hits the front page of the New York Times, sell.
Bernard Baruch

Problems are the price of progress. Don't bring me anything but trouble. Good news weakens me.
Charles Kettering

Spreading the news is your duty as a Christian, and there are many ways to do this.
Nicholas Sparks

No philosophy, no religion, has ever brought so glad a message to the world as this good news of Atheism.
Annie Besant

The paramedic called the press and sold me like a loaf of bread. This was news, and he wanted to be the one to report it.
Charlie Sheen

I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.
Samantha Bee

Literature is news that stays news.
Ezra Pound

I think they are paying a lot more attention to news now, by the way, in part because of national-security issues. A lot of young people have friends or family in the military today.
Tom Brokaw

What I think is highly inappropriate is what's going on across the Internet, a kind of political jihad against Dan Rather and CBS News that's quite outrageous.
Tom Brokaw