Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
W. C. Fields

The Constitution is the guide which I never will abandon.
George Washington

Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
William Shakespeare

Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.
William Shakespeare

The course of true love never did run smooth.
William Shakespeare

Virtue is bold, and goodness never fearful.
William Shakespeare

There was never yet fair woman but she made mouths in a glass.
William Shakespeare

I never see thy face but I think upon hell-fire.
William Shakespeare

The valiant never taste of death but once.
William Shakespeare

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Mitch Hedberg

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Mitch Hedberg

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Mitch Hedberg

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
Mitch Hedberg

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.
Mitch Hedberg

The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die.
Edward Kennedy

There never was and is not likely soon to be a nation of philosophers, nor am I certain it is desirable that there should be.
Henry David Thoreau

I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.
Henry David Thoreau