Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
Will Rogers

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
Will Rogers

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
Will Rogers

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
Will Rogers

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
Will Rogers

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
Will Rogers

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
Will Rogers

An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
Will Rogers

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.
Will Rogers

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
Will Rogers

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.
Will Rogers

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
Will Rogers

I never met a kid I liked.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.
W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
W. C. Fields

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
W. C. Fields

Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. Fields