There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.
Erma Bombeck

I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.
Erma Bombeck

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.
George Washington

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

My mother's wonderful. To me she's perfection.
Michael Jackson

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.
Robert Frost

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's.
Robert Frost

The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat.
Robert Frost

His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.
Mae West

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Necessity... the mother of invention.
Plato

A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror.
Sigmund Freud

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it.
Sigmund Freud

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
Rodney Dangerfield

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
Rodney Dangerfield

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.
Rodney Dangerfield

Every one of us is, even from his mother's womb, a master craftsman of idols.
John Calvin

Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children.
Billy Graham