The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
P. J. O'Rourke

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.
Lord Byron

I am about to be married, and am of course in all the misery of a man in pursuit of happiness.
Lord Byron

Organic buildings are the strength and lightness of the spiders' spinning, buildings qualified by light, bred by native character to environment, married to the ground.
Frank Lloyd Wright

There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
Clint Eastwood

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
Henny Youngman

If women were particular about men's characters, they would never get married at all.
George Bernard Shaw

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?
George Bernard Shaw

I never had a policy about marriage. I got married very young in life and I always think in all relationships, I've always thought that it's counterproductive to have a theory on that.
Jack Nicholson

I had arranged a birthday party for him and my children, who are all Aquarians. Instead, we got married. I ran out of excuses. It was just us and my children.
Diane von Furstenberg

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.
Don Adams

I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.
Don Adams

It was so cold I almost got married.
Shelley Winters

I was so cold the other day, I almost got married.
Shelley Winters

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
H. L. Mencken

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
H. L. Mencken