There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
Clint Eastwood

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.
Lord Byron

I am about to be married, and am of course in all the misery of a man in pursuit of happiness.
Lord Byron

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
Henny Youngman

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner

If women were particular about men's characters, they would never get married at all.
George Bernard Shaw

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?
George Bernard Shaw

I never had a policy about marriage. I got married very young in life and I always think in all relationships, I've always thought that it's counterproductive to have a theory on that.
Jack Nicholson

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.
Bette Midler

You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.
Mike Tyson

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

And in a marriage you can't TRY and be married. You're married or you're not married... as far as I'm concerned.
Ringo Starr

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.
Don Adams

I was married awfully young and I felt trapped. My wife had been divorced and all the time we were married we were out of the Church. It wasn't until we were divorced that we became good Catholics again.
Don Adams

It's hard for anybody who's been with me not to feel starved for affection when I'm making love to my ideas. Maybe it's not meant for me to settle down and be married.
Jim Carrey

When I decided to get married at 40, I couldn't find a dress with the modernity or sophistication I wanted. That's when I saw the opportunity for a wedding gown business.
Vera Wang

President Johnson and I have a lot in common. We were both born in small towns and we're both fortunate in the fact that we think we married above ourselves.
Richard M. Nixon