That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.
Bill Cosby

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip.
John Lennon

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost

In married life three is company and two none.
Oscar Wilde

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life.
Oscar Wilde

There's nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It's a thing no married man knows anything about.
Oscar Wilde

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
Oscar Wilde

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack Benny

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
Joseph Campbell

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Katharine Hepburn

If you want to give up the admiration of thousands of men for the distain of one, go ahead, get married.
Katharine Hepburn

The average Hollywood film star's ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend.
Katharine Hepburn

If I get married, I want to be very married.
Audrey Hepburn

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner

Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then.
Jane Austen

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'Rourke