The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties.
Oscar Wilde

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
Oscar Wilde

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.
Martin Luther

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.
Leonardo da Vinci

When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
Joseph Campbell

When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.
Joseph Campbell

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.
Katharine Hepburn

Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient.
Voltaire

Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.
Voltaire

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Rita Rudner

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.
Jane Austen

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
Jane Austen

Marriage is an act of will that signifies and involves a mutual gift, which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls, with whom they make up a sole family - a domestic church.
Pope John Paul II

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'Rourke

Marriage brings one into fatal connection with custom and tradition, and traditions and customs are like the wind and weather, altogether incalculable.
Soren Kierkegaard

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?
Dennis Miller