Last Night Quotes

I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
Muhammad Ali

Night, Before, Dark

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Mitch Hedberg

Morning, Night, Last

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies.
Charlie Sheen

Night, Tell, Last

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright

Night, Last, Playing

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
Mitch Hedberg

Time, Night, Last

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright

Night, Old, Last

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield

Girl, Night, Last

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
Woody Allen

Night, Last, Getting

For everything I do, I think about a 6-year-old girl and her mom that I saw at my concert last night. I think about what those two individuals would think if I were at a club last night. I never want to be arrested, and I never want to get a DUI, those are my moral values.
Taylor Swift

Mom, Girl, Night

I read the book of Job last night, I don't think God comes out well in it.
Virginia Woolf

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper

Night, Last, Gone

No Roman ever was able to say, 'I dined last night with the Borgias'.
Max Beerbohm

Night, Able, Last

Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I've not seen!
James Thurber

Night, Small, Last

Last night I neglected to mention something that bears repeating.
Ron Fairly

Night, Last, Bears

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost.
Bennett Cerf

Lost, Night, Last

It's nice to know you have support. Last night I got a marriage proposal. I just laughed.
Carrie Underwood

Marriage, Nice, Night

I actually go to the gym much more now than I did when I was on Buffy. I like to stay fit, because that's when I feel really healthy. But I never worked out for any kind of image. People have said to me, 'Do you starve yourself before photo shoots?' And I always say, 'No way.! That's what airbrushing is for. I had french fries last night.'
Sarah Michelle Gellar

Yourself, Night, Before

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
David Letterman

God, Night, Last

Actors are programmed to see the worst. If you're talking about an actor's TV series, you say, 'I loved you last night.' And they go, 'What about the week before?' They immediately worry.
Tom Hooper

Night, Before, Worry

I was up late last night yapping about the elections on CNN and up early this morning doing the same thing in my daughter's kindergarten class.
Tucker Carlson

Morning, Night, Same

Last night, two men tried to force my shutters. I recognized them: they are two of Rodin's Italian models. He told them to kill me. I am in his way; he wants to get rid of me.
Camille Claudel

Men, Night, Two

There are a lot of things I can take, and a few that I can't. What I can't take is when my older brother, who's everything that I want to be, starts losing faith in things. I saw that look in your eyes last night. I don't ever want to see that look in your eyes again.
M. Night Shyamalan

Faith, Night, Eyes

I was hanging out with Jonathan Richman last night.
Evan Dando

Night, Last, Hanging

I made observations for three hours last night, and am almost ill today from fatigue; still I have worked all day, trying to reduce the places, and mean to work hard again tonight.
Maria Mitchell

Work, Today, Hard

But, as we've seen over the last several months, the people in this country are very dissatisfied with the direction that this administration is taking this country. And what we heard last night was absolutely the ignoring of that fact. It was: We're going to continue with this agenda. In fact, we're going to double down on healthcare.
Eric Cantor

Night, Down, Country

The Brooklyn Dodgers had a no hitter last night.
Bob Dole

Night, Last, Brooklyn

I mean, we are facing so many very, very important issues and those are the issues that you heard talked about last night from the Republican convention, and that you'll hear my husband talk about. And those are the really important issues facing our country right now.
Laura Bush

Husband, Important, Mean

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.
Craig Kilborn

War, Sad, Powerful

We spent last night listening to Liverpool football team on the radio, wanting them to win so badly. Paul supports Liverpool. He was Everton for a while because of his family - but it's all Liverpool now.
Linda McCartney

Family, Football, Win

We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly.
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

Great, History, Night

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