In the last analysis, even the best man is evil: in the last analysis, even the best woman is bad.
Friedrich Nietzsche

What then in the last resort are the truths of mankind? They are the irrefutable errors of mankind.
Friedrich Nietzsche

This is a fantastic time to be entering the business world, because business is going to change more in the next 10 years than it has in the last 50.
Bill Gates

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
Steven Wright

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Steven Wright

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
Will Rogers

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
Will Rogers

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. Fields

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
W. C. Fields

Every hero becomes a bore at last.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thou wilt find rest from vain fancies if thou doest every act in life as though it were thy last.
Aristotle

All endeavor calls for the ability to tramp the last mile, shape the last plan, endure the last hours toil. The fight to the finish spirit is the one... characteristic we must posses if we are to face the future as finishers.
Henry David Thoreau

No face which we can give to a matter will stead us so well at last as the truth. This alone wears well.
Henry David Thoreau

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
Mitch Hedberg

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Mitch Hedberg

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
Mitch Hedberg

Tough times never last, but tough people do.
Robert H. Schuller