We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that.
Louie Anderson

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
Red Buttons

The success of The Simpsons really opened doors. It showed that if you were working in animation you didn't necessarily have to be working in kids' television.
Seth MacFarlane

Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.
Garry Shandling

I don't want little kids reading my comics.
Jhonen Vasquez

Yeah, and I went straight into a fantasy world. Just stepped straight into the abyss. You know, I was gone and kids used to walk past my front room, cause I lived on the green.
Eric Clapton

In certain ways it is incredibly damaging considering the stuff I did before certainly wasn't for kids.
Jhonen Vasquez

But now I have a lot of little kids who watched Invader Zim whenever they could find it on television.
Jhonen Vasquez

I've got five kids and I'm married, Tommy's got two kids and he's been married, Vince just got married again, Mick's out of a relationship, Tommy's single as well. We've done a lot in our life, we've covered a lot of miles.
Nikki Sixx

I won't be having any more kids, though. Four is enough.
Linda McCartney

While all the other kids were out playing ball and stuff, I used to stay in my room and imagine that there was a camera in the wall. And I used to really believe that I was putting on a television show and that it was going out to somewhere in the world.
Andy Kaufman

I have talked to Debbie Hammond quite a bit, Jim Hammond's wife, his widow. I've seen their kids. And last time we played Dallas, a lot of them came over. It's hard for them to come see the show. It's still hard.
Reba McEntire

My family, you know, are all still, you know, very close. We're all still very close. Mom and Daddy are still alive. So, what more can you ask for? Your kids are healthy.
Reba McEntire

Everybody around the world wants to send their kids to our universities. But nobody wants to send their kids here to public school.
Walter Annenberg

I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr

I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids. I think I must have been Adolf Hitler in a past life.
Roseanne Barr

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr

The easiest way to convince my kids that they don't really need something is to get it for them.
Joan Collins

After doing One Fine Day and playing a pediatrician on ER, I'll never have kids. I'm going to have a vasectomy.
George Clooney

I'd like to help educate kids about the Major Leagues - what to anticipate, what to expect, what they'll need to do to prepare themselves.
Barry Bonds