Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.
Bill Maher

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
Bill Maher

Animation is the one type of movie that really does play for the entire audience. Our challenge is to make stories that connect for kids and adults.
John Lasseter

I never had a chance to play with dolls like other kids. I started working when I was six years old.
Billie Holiday

Mom and Pop were just a couple of kids when they got married. He was eighteen, she was sixteen and I was three.
Billie Holiday

The success of The Simpsons really opened doors. It showed that if you were working in animation you didn't necessarily have to be working in kids' television.
Seth MacFarlane

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
Dennis Miller

I would take plays and I would cut out all the other dialogue and make long monologues because I felt the other kids weren't taking it as seriously as I did.
Sally Field

I find that balancing my life with my work with the kids at St. Jude, working on books, working on my career as an actor and taking time out for my husband and family help to cushion a lot of the blows.
Marlo Thomas

All kids need is a little help, a little hope and somebody who believes in them.
Magic Johnson

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
Jeff Foxworthy

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
Jeff Foxworthy

You may not win the Super Bowl. Your kids may not go on to be doctors and lawyers and everything may not go perfectly. That doesn't mean it was a bad plan or the wrong thing. It's just like a football season. Everything's not going to go perfect.
Tony Dungy

Did you know that nearly one in three children live apart from their biological dads? Those kids are two to three times more likely to grow up in poverty, to suffer in school, and to have health and behavioral problems.
Tony Dungy

But there's no substitute for a full-time dad. Dads who are fully engaged with their kids overwhelmingly tend to produce children who believe in themselves and live full lives.
Tony Dungy

I tell her all the time I'd gladly retire and hang out with the kids and clean the house. I want to have a good life and great family, and from a professional standpoint I want to be successful, but it's not the most important thing at all.
Nick Lachey

To me, having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father.
Nick Lachey

Adopted kids are such a pain - you have to teach them how to look like you.
Gilda Radner

I'm not exactly sure how many kids I have, but yes, I do miss them officially, for the record. In case any of them are listening, I love you.
Tre Cool

Because normally with Western cuisine, you'll serve vegetables separate from the meat, so kids will eat the meat and never touch the vegetables.
Martin Yan