We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen

We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that.
Jennifer Saunders

Well, there are conjoined twins in real life and we can tell a story about them so long as they're not the brunt of the jokes. In this, they're the heroes of this story; we love these guys.
Bobby Farrelly

When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents!
Dick Bruna

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
Megan Fox

When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes.
Graham Kennedy

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
Evan Dando

When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
Frank Muir

Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too.
Margaret Mahy

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
Dylan Moran

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.
Hector Elizondo

You can't just yell jokes at people.
David Cross

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White

Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes.
Ashley Tisdale