The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
David Letterman

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.
Mose Allison

There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories.
Neil Gaiman

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
Larry David

They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.
Mike Epps

This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included.
Kevin Sorbo

Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
Carey Williams

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
Fred Allen

We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that.
Jennifer Saunders

Well, there are conjoined twins in real life and we can tell a story about them so long as they're not the brunt of the jokes. In this, they're the heroes of this story; we love these guys.
Bobby Farrelly

When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents!
Dick Bruna

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
Megan Fox

When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes.
Graham Kennedy

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
Evan Dando

When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
Seth MacFarlane

Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
Frank Muir

Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too.
Margaret Mahy

Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
Joel McHale

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
Dylan Moran

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.
Hector Elizondo