I crack jokes and play games and that's really more my nature than being cold.
Bernhard Langer

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
Mark Russell

I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid.
Drew Carey

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
Sandra Bernhard

I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
James Humes

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Will Rogers

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe

I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes.
Sherilyn Fenn

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something.
Steve Harvey

I don't want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross, he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn't sing, dance or tell jokes, does he?
Ian St. John

I feel that after all those horrible reviews and jokes, I wasn't crazy all these years to stand up for the music I believe in. This album has proven that somewhere in the human race, the human heart is still racing and breaking and I am so grateful.
Barry Manilow

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
Allan Sloan

I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.
Glen Campbell

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.
Dan Hicks

I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.
Sam Kinison

I have 40 years of unpublished material, the ones they don't pick, and the reason I don't redraw them or use them again is that I like to use my brain every day and come up with new jokes.
Sergio Aragones

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
Kathy Griffin

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
David Letterman

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
Mitch Hedberg

I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
Tahar Ben Jelloun