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I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.
I love my jokes.
You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
Making jokes is about the most wrong and stupid thing a bemused, middle-aged, white heterosexual Anglo Saxon sort of Celt Australian male can do these days.
I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties: I'd be able to get through them if I just told enough jokes. Otherwise, I wouldn't end up talking to anybody.
On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don't like those. We can all ride together, and everyone's on the same thing going, 'Aha, I know where you're going here.'
I make jokes because humor is the greatest healing factor that there is.
Ultimately, jokes are this really special thing that we can all share. It's exciting to have basically a thousand people in a room together that can laugh at the same time, but I think of it almost as, like, a religious experience.
I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
I grew up in the projects. You have no choice but to fight. My jokes used to get me in fights.
You have to understand, I can't do any jokes about Ross Perot, because the last thing I need right now is another credit check.
As you get older, as you become more sensitive, feel more, it becomes harder to make jokes. You censor yourself.
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.
People get really scared when women reclaim words, talk about themselves honestly and also make jokes because it's a really unstoppable combination.
With stand-up, there's a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.
The reason most comedies don't win awards is that the filmmakers put the comedy first. This means you have to create a story around the jokes.
I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.
I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.
The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines.
I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.
I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.
In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face. And that's really not a good instinct with a 'Daily Show' field piece, where it's supposed to be an interview.
I don't do jokes. The characters are my jokes.
Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues.
John F. Kennedy
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