Quote of the Day
You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal.
I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile. I may be a little different, but that's OK, who wants to be normal anyway?
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes that were equally hilarious across the board, for totally different reasons.
Most jokes state a bitter truth.
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
With my boyfriend, we can make sexist jokes to each other because we know it's absolutely not true. If I get home from a long day and he says: 'Go on, get in the kitchen,' it's funny because we know it's not our lives.
People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in my life, in my heart.
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.
I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
Tahar Ben Jelloun
I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!
I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.
It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
John F. Kennedy
Martin Luther King, Jr.
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