Quote of the Day
You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal.
I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile. I may be a little different, but that's OK, who wants to be normal anyway?
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
People see me laughing and telling jokes, but they had no idea after the show was over, I had no joy in my life, in my heart.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
I never get tired of 'It Was A Good Day' references or jokes or anything like that. It's just, you know, keeping my biggest hit alive. Nothing wrong with that.
I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.
I was a class clown. At 12, I was definitely clowning. I was making all the jokes. But I was smart, so the teachers didn't know what to do with me.
I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny.
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.
It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.
Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.
I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him.
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
If you'd asked me then if I saw how big 'The Steve Harvey Morning Show' was going to be, I couldn't tell you. But I knew I could reach people not as a character but as Steve Harvey, because although I tell jokes for a living, I've also lived, and I think I can relate to you more than you know.
A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
If you have doubts about someone, lay on a couple of jokes. If he doesn't find anything funny, your radar should be screaming. Then I would say be patient with people who are negative, because they're really having a hard time.
Michael J. Fox
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
John F. Kennedy
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