I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx

Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun.
Pablo Picasso

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
Erma Bombeck

All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Erma Bombeck

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
Erma Bombeck

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
Erma Bombeck

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
W. C. Fields

I walk on untrodden ground. There is scarcely any part of my conduct which may not hereafter be drawn into precedent.
George Washington

Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.
William Shakespeare

But O, how bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man's eyes.
William Shakespeare

We cannot conceive of matter being formed of nothing, since things require a seed to start from... Therefore there is not anything which returns to nothing, but all things return dissolved into their elements.
William Shakespeare

If you can look into the seeds of time, and say which grain will grow and which will not, speak then unto me.
William Shakespeare

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
Henry David Thoreau

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose.
Bill Gates

As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.
Bill Gates

We always overestimate the change that will occur in the next two years and underestimate the change that will occur in the next ten. Don't let yourself be lulled into inaction.
Bill Gates

Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself.
Bill Gates

We've got to put a lot of money into changing behavior.
Bill Gates

If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
Jim Rohn