CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.
Jay Leno

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.
Milton Berle

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
H. L. Mencken

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
H. L. Mencken

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
H. L. Mencken

Just don't go to a place where everything is too expensive... it'll put your husband in a bad mood.
Diane von Furstenberg

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Ambrose Bierce

The house wife is an unpaid employee in her husband's house in return for the security of being a permanent employee.
Germaine Greer

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Michel de Montaigne

My life really began when I married my husband.
Nancy Reagan

Sometimes I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be.
Angelina Jolie

You just have to keep on doing what you do. It's the lesson I get from my husband; he just says, Keep going. Start by starting.
Meryl Streep

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.
Euripides

An early-rising man is a good spouse but a bad husband.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez

To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job.
Simone de Beauvoir

I was a queen, and you took away my crown; a wife, and you killed my husband; a mother, and you deprived me of my children. My blood alone remains: take it, but do not make me suffer long.
Marie Antoinette

I was really, because I thought it was extremely excruciating when I watched a tape of it, that my husband taped for me and I never watched it again after that.
Jo Brand

I have a lifetime appointment and I intend to serve it. I expect to die at 110, shot by a jealous husband.
Thurgood Marshall

Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it's true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in.
Tina Fey

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Agatha Christie