Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
Josh Billings

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
Josh Billings

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey

I try to do something the audience might not have seen before. Like if I'm gonna kiss a girl I wanna kiss her like a girl has never been kissed. Like maybe I would kick her legs out from under her and catch her right before she hits the ground and then kiss her.
Jim Carrey

My mother was a professional sick person; she took a lot of pain pills. There are many people like that. It's just how they are used to getting attention. I always remember she's the daughter of alcoholics who'd leave her alone at Christmas time.
Jim Carrey

We cannot let another person into our hearts or minds unless we empty ourselves. We can truly listen to him or truly hear her only out of emptiness.
M. Scott Peck

Plots and character don't make life. Life is here and now, anytime you say the word, anytime you let her rip.
Henry Miller

A woman is never sexier than when she is comfortable in her clothes.
Vera Wang

Hillary Clinton bothers me a lot. I realized the other day that her thoughts sound a lot like Karl Marx. She hangs around a lot of Marxists. All her friends are Marxists.
Dick Armey

Woman's destiny is to be wanton, like the bitch, the she-wolf; she must belong to all who claim her.
Marquis de Sade

Nature, who for the perfect maintenance of the laws of her general equilibrium, has sometimes need of vices and sometimes of virtues, inspires now this impulse, now that one, in accordance with what she requires.
Marquis de Sade

The primary and most beautiful of Nature's qualities is motion, which agitates her at all times, but this motion is simply a perpetual consequence of crimes, she conserves it by means of crimes only.
Marquis de Sade

She had already allowed her delectable lover to pluck that flower which, so different from the rose to which it is nevertheless sometimes compared, has not the same faculty of being reborn each spring.
Marquis de Sade

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle

A woman uses her intelligence to find reasons to support her intuition.
Gilbert K. Chesterton

It's my old girl that advises. She has the head. But I never own to it before her. Discipline must be maintained.
Charles Dickens

The pictures of my family were designed to be on a family wall, they were supposed to be together. It was supposed to copy my mother's wall in her house.
Annie Leibovitz

To me, the black black woman is our essential mother, the blacker she is the more us she is and to see the hatred that is turned on her is enough to make me despair, almost entirely, of our future as a people.
Alice Walker

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
H. L. Mencken