Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can't be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people.
Lee Iacocca

If a guy is over 25 percent jerk, he's in trouble. And Henry was 95 percent.
Lee Iacocca

As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition too.
Johnny Depp

I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.
Johnny Depp

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy.
Jack Nicholson

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
Lenny Bruce

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.
Dave Barry

It gets so boring at home. After all, how many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on television?
Bud Abbott

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
Emo Philips

None of us wanted to be the bass player. In our minds he was the fat guy who always played at the back.
Paul McCartney

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own.
Jay Leno

One day some guy is going to get a billion-dollar fight.
Mike Tyson

I ain't the same person I was when I bit that guy's ear off.
Mike Tyson

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.
Fred Allen

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton.
David Letterman

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector.
David Letterman

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
David Letterman

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
David Letterman

I'm a hard guy to live with. I'm like a caged animal. I'm up all night walking around the living room. It's hard for me to come down from what I do.
Jim Carrey