At home I am a nice guy: but I don't want the world to know. Humble people, I've found, don't get very far.
Muhammad Ali

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin

If you're looking for the safe choice, you shouldn't be supporting a black guy named Barack Obama to be the next leader of the free world.
Barack Obama

I'm a lucky guy and I'm happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.
Yogi Berra

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Woody Allen

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
Mitch Hedberg

Only the guy who isn't rowing has time to rock the boat.
Jean-Paul Sartre

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
Mitch Hedberg

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
Steven Wright

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.
Dr. Seuss

As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition too.
Johnny Depp

I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.
Johnny Depp

I've got mad energy for days. That's what people can't get their minds around. They say, 'Oh, he's going to crash.' They try to apply all these common terms to a guy who is not common. I don't fit into their little box.
Charlie Sheen

It's not an act. I love it. It's totally original. People go, 'What's going on with this guy? Why does he sound so weird? What is going on in his brain. I don't know. Just one day I suddenly woke up with a new brain.
Charlie Sheen

There was a reason my first substantial role after rehab was to play a maniac whose personal story ended badly. I knew what it was like to go those dark places. I played a guy who died as a result of his abuse.
Charlie Sheen

I've got volumes on how not to behave. I've got more information now than a guy should have at my age.
Charlie Sheen

I think I have a duty as a recovering guy to help, to make my knowledge of what I went through accessible.
Charlie Sheen

If you cry over a guy, then your friends can't date him. It can't even be considered.
Taylor Swift

The president may be a nice guy, but he's just over his head.
Mitt Romney