We've got to put a lot of money into changing behavior.
Bill Gates

Experience teaches us that it is much easier to prevent an enemy from posting themselves than it is to dislodge them after they have got possession.
George Washington

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
Groucho Marx

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Groucho Marx

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
Groucho Marx

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Steven Wright

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
Steven Wright

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
Steven Wright

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright

Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details.
Andy Warhol

When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships.
Andy Warhol