The only way to enjoy golf is to be a masochist. Go out and beat yourself to death.
Howard Keel

The pat on the back, the arm around the shoulder, the praise for what was done right and the sympathetic nod for what wasn't are as much a part of golf as life itself.
Gerald R. Ford

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
Bertrand Russell

The real beauty of it - key to my life was playing key chords on a banjo. For somebody else it may be a golf club that mom and dad put in their hands or a baseball or ballet lessons. Real gift to give to me and put it in writing.
Vince Gill

The real success in golf lies in turning three shots into two.
Bobby Locke

The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.
Leslie Nielsen

The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two.
Bobby Jones

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.
Jon Stewart

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
H. G. Wells

There are no maladies in my golf game. My golf game stinks.
Jack Nicklaus

There are some guys out here that can really play golf, but it has not been their focus for that long.
Trent Dilfer

There is no life for girls in team sports past Little League. I got into tennis when I realized this, and because I thought golf would be too slow for me, and I was too scared to swim.
Billie Jean King

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
Ben Hogan

There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.
Lee Trevino

There is nothing in this game of golf that can't be improved upon if you practice.
Patty Berg

There isn't a flaw in his golf or his makeup. He will win more majors than Arnold Palmer and me combined. Somebody is going to dust my records. It might as well be Tiger, because he's such a great kid.
Jack Nicklaus

They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken.
Raymond Floyd

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.
Ray Floyd

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?
Casey Stengel

This golf course, you miss a shot a little bit off-line, it's going to bite you.
Mike Weir