People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Ellen DeGeneres

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead.
Will Ferrell

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.
Will Ferrell

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.
Will Ferrell

You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.
Steve Irwin

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.
Angelina Jolie

I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.
Angelina Jolie

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.
Theodor Geisel

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
Larry David

I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.
Jennifer Aniston

I'm really funny now.
Wanda Sykes

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
Wanda Sykes

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.
Wanda Sykes

Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He's funny. He's cute. He's great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that's cool.
Britney Spears

Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
Jo Brand

I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
Jo Brand

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
Jo Brand

That's what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you're hitting a line or making it funny.
Jennifer Aniston

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.
Sarah Silverman