If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Mitch Hedberg

If the world were a bar, America would currently be the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun. Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him, but they sure as hell don't respect him.
Wil Wheaton

If you like to read, sometimes it's interesting just to go and see what the reality is, of the word, of the seedy or not so seedy fiction writer, the drunk or sober poet... Sometimes you can go looking for illumination.
Harold Brodkey

It is amazing to me, as a professional geologist, how many otherwise intelligent people have, as some may say, 'drunk the Al Gore Kool-Aid' concerning global climate change.
Earl F. Titcomb, Jr.

It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.
Gertrude Stein

It is the hour to be drunken! to escape being the martyred slaves of time, be ceaselessly drunk. On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish.
Charles Baudelaire

It is time to get drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of Time, get drunk; get drunk without stopping! On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish.
Charles Baudelaire

It pays to get drunk with the best people.
Joe E. Lewis

It seems that whatever we do is somehow beyond reproach - murder, rape, drunk driving - as long as we go on a TV show and apologize.
Eric Stoltz

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns

It's not a crime to get drunk.
Joe Bob Briggs

It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that.
Jeffrey Bernard

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.
Shirley MacLaine

Life on the road can get a little one-dimensional. I didn't want to reach 40 and have to say all I'd done was look out the window of a tour bus and get drunk.
Bruce Dickinson

Love, with very young people, is a heartless business. We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk; it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the individuality of our wine.
Isak Dinesen

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
Lord Byron

Many people have played themselves to death. Many people have eaten and drunk themselves to death. Nobody ever thought himself to death.
Gilbert Highet

Me, I'd prefer to have a good reputation rather than getting press for being scandalous, getting drunk in public, staying out late and so on.
Sophia Bush

Modern morality and manners suppress all natural instincts, keep people ignorant of the facts of nature and make them fighting drunk on bogey tales.
Aleister Crowley

'My country, right or wrong' is a thing no patriot would ever think of saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying 'My mother, drunk or sober.'
Gilbert K. Chesterton