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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination.
A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.
Modern morality and manners suppress all natural instincts, keep people ignorant of the facts of nature and make them fighting drunk on bogey tales.
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.
Sometimes when you're drunk you can see better.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Love, with very young people, is a heartless business. We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk; it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the individuality of our wine.
Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.
I think getting drunk is the key to flying comfortably. A couple of bloody marys or several glasses of champagne, and suddenly it's like you're on a roller coaster.
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.
Grant stood by me when I was crazy, and I stood by him when he was drunk, and now we stand by each other.
William Tecumseh Sherman
A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.
Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Your life changes. Everything has to be done perfectly, and I didn't follow that. I lived my life as if I wasn't in the public eye. I thought, 'I'm young. I have the right to experience new things, and if I want to go to a bar and get drunk, that's my prerogative.'
When we started I wasn't the singer. I was the drunk rhythm guitarist who wrote all these weird songs.
My idol is Emile Zola. He was a man of the left, so people expected of him a kind of 'Les Miserables,' in which the underdogs are always noble people. But he went out, and found a lot of ambitious, drunk, slothful and mean people out there. Zola simply could not - and was not interested in - telling a lie.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Leonardo da Vinci
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