A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.
Jim Bishop

A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
Joe E. Lewis

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
Samuel Johnson

A man's true character comes out when he's drunk.
Charlie Chaplin

After the crash happened, I was so humiliated and embarrassed. I thought of Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, that they must hate me.
Tracey Gold

All the mistakes I've ever made in my life have been when I've been drunk. I haven't made hardly any mistakes sober, ever, ever.
Tracey Emin

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

Always do sober what you said you'd do when you were drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut!
Charles Scribner, Jr.

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
Charles Darwin

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway

And we used to do a lot of drugs and get very drunk on very cheap wine.
Santiago Durango

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.
Ambrose Bierce

Because of the high altitude, you get drunk really fast. So everyone's drunk all the time.
Clea Duvall

Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus.
Ozzy Osbourne

Clubs are so lame. Nobody even dances at these clubs. They stand around and get drunk and they schmooze. There is no enjoyment factor.
Shia LaBeouf

Come, for my part I will have only those glorious, manly pleasures of being very drunk, and very slovenly.
William Wycherley

Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
Isaac Asimov

Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift... The hangover comes the day after.
Joyce Brothers

Does my character hate Bree? Well, let's just put it this way. Bree hasn't seen the last of me. I gave that drunk gal a ride home a few episodes ago and she turned on me!
Alfre Woodard