I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.
Ronald Reagan

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
Mark Twain

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'Rourke

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W. C. Fields

I must have a drink of breakfast.
W. C. Fields

I drink therefore I am.
W. C. Fields

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
W. C. Fields

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields

There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.
W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields

Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
William Shakespeare

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield

Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Erma Bombeck

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.
Socrates

Get off your horse and drink your milk.
John Wayne