Somewhere deep down there's a decent man in me, he just can't be found.
Eminem

The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws.
Ayn Rand

Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps, down new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision.
Ayn Rand

Women have always been the strong ones of the world. The men are always seeking from women a little pillow to put their heads down on. They are always longing for the mother who held them as infants.
Coco Chanel

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin

When you are down and out something always turns up - and it is usually the noses of your friends.
Orson Welles

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .
Woody Allen

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
Woody Allen

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
Mitch Hedberg

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
Mitch Hedberg

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
Mitch Hedberg

It isn't until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are - not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within - that you can begin to take control.
Oprah Winfrey

So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground.
Oprah Winfrey

My first day in Chicago, September 4, 1983. I set foot in this city, and just walking down the street, it was like roots, like the motherland. I knew I belonged here.
Oprah Winfrey

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
Steven Wright

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright

I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright