Dog Quotes

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln

Call, Four, Legs

I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
Abraham Lincoln

Religion, Care, Whose

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

Best, Friend, Book

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln

Call, Five, Legs

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain

There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin

Money, Wife, Friends

God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham

Happiness, God, Everything

Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
William Shakespeare

Honesty, Him, Truly

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Josh Billings

Love, Yourself, Earth

I'm half-Irish, half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog, I'd be in a hell of a mess!
Audrey Hepburn

Hell, Born, Mess

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Ego, Whenever, Climb

In modern war... you will die like a dog for no good reason.
Ernest Hemingway

The life of an uneducated man is as useless as the tail of a dog which neither covers its rear end, nor protects it from the bites of insects.
Chanakya

The serpent, the king, the tiger, the stinging wasp, the small child, the dog owned by other people, and the fool: these seven ought not to be awakened from sleep.
Chanakya

Fool, Sleep, Small

Be thou comforted, little dog, Thou too in Resurrection shall have a little golden tail.
Martin Luther

Shall, Golden, Thou

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.
Will Rogers

Time, Down, Save

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck

Nothing, Child, Water

They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one's country. But in modern war, there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason.
Ernest Hemingway

Good, War, Nothing

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney

Person, Average, Nicer

A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw that God's truth is attacked and yet would remain silent.
John Calvin

God, Truth, Coward

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
Mitch Hedberg

Life, Thought, Whole

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield

Wife, Tough, She

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.
Demetri Martin

Love, Trust, Women

If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
Woodrow Wilson

Home, After, Conscience

Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
Erma Bombeck

Age, Strength, Him

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright

Gone, Poured, Spot

The dog is the god of frolic.
Henry Ward Beecher

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
Harry S. Truman

Friend, Washington

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.
H. L. Mencken

Theory, Professor, Fleas

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
Aldous Huxley

Dogs, Popularity, Constant

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