How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln

I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
Abraham Lincoln

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg.
Abraham Lincoln

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Mark Twain

There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
Benjamin Franklin

Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath any honesty in him.
William Shakespeare

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
Friedrich Nietzsche

In modern war... you will die like a dog for no good reason.
Ernest Hemingway

They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one's country. But in modern war, there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason.
Ernest Hemingway

I'm half-Irish, half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog, I'd be in a hell of a mess!
Audrey Hepburn

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
Josh Billings

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx

People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
Mitch Hedberg

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright

Be thou comforted, little dog, Thou too in Resurrection shall have a little golden tail.
Martin Luther

God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
Rodney Dangerfield

What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.
Rodney Dangerfield

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield

Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.
Adam Smith