The word "Christianity" is already a misunderstanding - in reality there has been only one Christian, and he died on the Cross.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
Steven Wright

I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
Andy Warhol

I always wished I had died, and I still wish that, because I could have gotten the whole thing over with.
Andy Warhol

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
Erma Bombeck

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg

Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.
Ernest Hemingway

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
George S. Patton

I know Jesus Christ died for my sins, and that's all I really need to know.
Ann Coulter

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, "I love you."
Billy Graham

They died hard, those savage men - like wounded wolves at bay. They were filthy, and they were lousy, and they stunk. And I loved them.
Douglas MacArthur

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
Henny Youngman

Now I'm an old Christmas tree, the roots of which have died. They just come along and while the little needles fall off me replace them with medallions.
Orson Welles

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller

Even if I died in the service of the nation, I would be proud of it. Every drop of my blood... will contribute to the growth of this nation and to make it strong and dynamic.
Indira Gandhi

It is my aim, and every effort bent, that the sum and history of my life, which in the same sentence is my obit and epitaph too, shall be them both: He made the books and he died.
William Faulkner

To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!
H. L. Mencken

No grand idea was ever born in a conference, but a lot of foolish ideas have died there.
F. Scott Fitzgerald