I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
Fred Allen

If you let a bully come in your front yard, he'll be on your porch the next day and the day after that he'll rape your wife in your own bed.
Lyndon B. Johnson

I seldom think of politics more than eighteen hours a day.
Lyndon B. Johnson

I mean, I was born the day war broke out, but I don't remember all the bombs though they did actually break up Liverpool, you know. I remember when I was a little older, there was big gaps in all the streets where houses used to be. We used to play over them.
Ringo Starr

I weep for the liberty of my country when I see at this early day of its successful experiment that corruption has been imputed to many members of the House of Representatives, and the rights of the people have been bartered for promises of office.
Andrew Jackson

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?
David Letterman

I'd rather direct than produce. Any day. And twice on Sunday.
Steven Spielberg

A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
Edward Abbey

You know, I live a monastic lifestyle. No, I do. I do live in extremes, basically. I go back and forth. Once every six months, I'll have a day where I eat more chocolate than has ever been consumed by a human being.
Jim Carrey

I tend to stay up late, not because I'm partying but because it's the only time of the day when I'm alone and don't have to be performing.
Jim Carrey

Ya know what I do almost every day? I wash. Personal hygiene is part of the package with me.
Jim Carrey

It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can't eat for eight hours; he can't drink for eight hours; he can't make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
William Faulkner

The scattered tea goes with the leaves and every day a sunset dies.
William Faulkner

We of Africa protest that, in this day and age, we should continue to be treated as lesser human beings than other races.
Robert Mugabe

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
e. e. cummings

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.
e. e. cummings

Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death.
Arthur Schopenhauer

If men cease to believe that they will one day become gods then they will surely become worms.
Henry Miller

Hillary Clinton bothers me a lot. I realized the other day that her thoughts sound a lot like Karl Marx. She hangs around a lot of Marxists. All her friends are Marxists.
Dick Armey

Our perception of songs that we've written... the meaning changes from day to day... to whatever stage we're at in our life and careers.
Layne Staley