Claus Quotes

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
Steven Wright

Tired, Weather, Missing

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.
H. L. Mencken

Democracy, Same, Put

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Dick Gregory

Dark, After, Knew

Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.
Samuel Butler

Nobody, Santa, Shoots

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
Victor Borge

Once, Idea, Year

We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus; but our ideas about Santa Claus change, mature and become more nuanced, whereas our ideas of God can remain at a rather infantile level.
Karen Armstrong

Change, Time, God

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple

Mother, Him, Believing

A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus.
Herbert Hoover

Good, Dark, Around

Everyone thinks of God as a man - you can't help it - Santa Claus was a man, therefore God has to be a man.
Patti Smith

God, Help, Everyone

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.
Julia Sweeney

Family, Strange, Face

I don't really care what people tell children - when you believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, one more fib won't hurt. But I am infuriated by the growing notion, posited in some touchy-feely quarters, that all women are, or can be, beautiful.
Julie Burchill

Women, Easter, Beautiful

I think we have to believe in things we don't see. That's really important for all of us, whether it's your religion or Santa Claus, or whatever. That's pretty much what it's about.
James Caan

Religion, Important, Pretty

I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.
Trey Parker

Person, Same, Santa

I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus.
Joe Nichols

Time, Heard, Santa

I actually share her view and understand her frustration when any government attempts to ban secular symbols like Santa Claus or Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer or Christmas lights.
Steve Israel

Christmas, Government, Understand

Ronald has had bicycle safety and safety in the home. Yes, Ronald is McDonald's, second most recognised figure after Santa Claus, and there's an element of obviously benefiting your business.
Jim Cantalupo

Home, Business, After

For the most part, people use God as Santa Claus.
Rickie Lee Jones

One of the things I had a hard time getting used to when I came to California in '78 was Santa Claus in shorts.
Dennis Franz

Time, Hard, Used

I mean, I don't think I would call Claus to do an album of big band tunes. You know, just like arrangers write for the artist they have in mind; you have to keep in mind if you're going to work with Claus Ogerman. You invite him to do what he does.
Diana Krall

Work, Mind, Mean

For me growing up, Christmas time was always the most fantastic, exciting time of year, and you'd stay up until three in the morning. You'd hear the parents wrapping in the other room but you knew that also, maybe, they were in collusion with Santa Claus.
Chris Pine

Time, Christmas, Morning

I had this grand idea that Elvira's kind of the Santa Claus of Halloween - at the malls, you'd have an Elvira there. Girls would dress as Elvira just like guys dress as Santa Claus, and it's not the real thing, but they'll pose for pictures, sign autographs. Of course, I couldn't go around to every mall, so we'd have to get more Elviras.
Cassandra Peterson

Real, Around, Idea

No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas.
Alfred E. Smith

Christmas, Hard, Before

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Booker T. Washington

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