A broken heart is what makes life so wonderful five years later, when you see the guy in an elevator and he is fat and smoking a cigar and saying long-time-no-see.
Phyllis Battelle

A cigar is as good as memories that you have when you smoked it.
Raul Julia

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Groucho Marx

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
Rudyard Kipling

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.
Mary Wilson Little

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.
Steve Allen

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
George Burns

I did the cover of Cigar Aficionado, so I'm supposed to talk about loving cigars. I've smoked them a couple of times. My father used to smoke cigars. I love the idea and the concept, and I love the smell of cigars.
Gina Gershon

I didn't play at collecting. No cigar anywhere was safe from me.
Edward G. Robinson

I even smoke in bed. Imagine smoking a cigar in bed, reading a book. Next to your bed, there's a cigar table with a special cigar ashtray, and your wife is reading a book on how to save the environment.
Raul Julia

I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain

I just smoked a Cohiba the other day. It was great. You have to appreciate everything that cigar is.
Daisy Fuentes

I never can understand how anyone can not smoke it deprives a man of the best part of life. With a good cigar in his mouth a man is perfectly safe, nothing can touch him, literally.
Thomas Mann

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns

I'm looking forward to providing the men of Seattle with an evening where they can kick back, light up a cigar and enjoy a night to themselves. Women, we can't technically keep you out, but please stay at home.
Tom Leykis

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White

If you want a midget to look like a baby, don't put a cigar in his mouth.
Chuck Jones

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Lynda Barry

Maybe it's like becoming one with the cigar. You lose yourself in it; everything fades away: your worries, your problems, your thoughts. They fade into the smoke, and the cigar and you are at peace.
Raul Julia

Mr. Burns comes out and flips cigar ashes on his shoes, and makes up about 90 percent of what you hear.
Bobby Darin