I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields

Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.
W. C. Fields

Children wish fathers looked but with their eyes; fathers that children with their judgment looked; and either may be wrong.
William Shakespeare

There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul than the way in which it treats its children.
Nelson Mandela

Children are all foreigners.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

We find delight in the beauty and happiness of children that makes the heart too big for the body.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those the art of living well.
Aristotle

This is the reason why mothers are more devoted to their children than fathers: it is that they suffer more in giving them birth and are more certain that they are their own.
Aristotle

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
Aristotle

Children make your life important.
Erma Bombeck

Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck

All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
Erma Bombeck

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
Erma Bombeck

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck

Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
Erma Bombeck

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years."
Erma Bombeck

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
Erma Bombeck

All men are children, and of one family. The same tale sends them all to bed, and wakes them in the morning.
Henry David Thoreau

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
Mitch Hedberg

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.
Napoleon Bonaparte