I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Woody Allen

My weaknesses have always been food and men - in that order.
Dolly Parton

Where I was born and where and how I have lived is unimportant. It is what I have done with where I have been that should be of interest.
Dwight L. Moody

The Bible is worth all the other books which have ever been printed.
Patrick Henry

The capacity of the female mind for studies of the highest order cannot be doubted, having been sufficiently illustrated by its works of genius, of erudition, and of science.
James Madison

The number, the industry, and the morality of the priesthood, and the devotion of the people have been manifestly increased by the total separation of the church from the state.
James Madison

To the press alone, chequered as it is with abuses, the world is indebted for all the triumphs which have been gained by reason and humanity over error and oppression.
James Madison

In no instance have... the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people.
James Madison

We have come to a turning point in the road. If we turn to the right mayhap our children and our children's children will go that way; but if we turn to the left, generations yet unborn will curse our names for having been unfaithful to God and to His Word.
Charles Spurgeon

I would go to the deeps a hundred times to cheer a downcast spirit. It is good for me to have been afflicted, that I might know how to speak a word in season to one that is weary.
Charles Spurgeon

It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength.
Charles Spurgeon

If the Nuremberg laws were applied, then every post-war American president would have been hanged.
Noam Chomsky

On the ordinary view of each species having been independently created, we gain no scientific explanation.
Charles Darwin

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
Henny Youngman

I attribute the little I know to my not having been ashamed to ask for information, and to my rule of conversing with all descriptions of men on those topics that form their own peculiar professions and pursuits.
John Locke

It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom.
Joan Rivers

All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary is only to try to think them again.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We usually lose today, because there has been a yesterday, and tomorrow is coming.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Beauty is a manifestation of secret natural laws, which otherwise would have been hidden from us forever.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe