Bathroom Quotes

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.
Bill Cosby

Father, Child, Times

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
George Carlin

Death, Person, Party

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Erma Bombeck

Nothing, Child, Dog

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Erma Bombeck

Car, Place, Wait

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope

Waiting, Learned, Dance

People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement.
P. J. O'Rourke

Philosophy, Free, Simply

Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that's happened to us?
Tom Coburn

Girl, Happened, Issue

I decorated my house like a medieval gothic castle, European-style. Chandeliers and red velvet curtains. My bedroom is pink and black, my bathroom is totally Hello Kitty, I have a massive pink couch and a big antique gold cross.
Avril Lavigne

Black, Big, House

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner

Women, Men, Night

Of all the subjects on this planet, I think my parents would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.
J. K. Rowling

Parents, Hard, Put

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.
Richard M. Nixon

Put, Union, Unless

If I want to be alone, some place I can write, I can read, I can pray, I can cry, I can do whatever I want - I go to the bathroom.
Alicia Keys

Alone, Place, Whatever

It's very important for the parents of young autistic children to encourage them to talk, or for those that don't talk, to give them a way of communicating, like a picture board, where they can point to a glass of milk, or a jacket if they're cold, or the bathroom. If they want something, then they need to learn to request that thing.
Temple Grandin

Children, Parents, Important

I'm very happy with the way I look. I wake up some morning, catch myself in the bathroom mirror, and go, 'hey girl, you're alright'. But on the other hand, I find the website stuff, and the polls, something completely removed from my own personal life. You can't take anything like that too seriously, otherwise you'd end up in the loony bin.
Cameron Diaz

Life, Morning, Happy

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.
Billy Wilder

Sleep, Another, Rather

I need my products to work and be fast! I don't love having 50 different things in my bathroom, like a different cream for every inch of my face. That's so not me.
Heidi Klum

Love, Work, Different

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke

Best, Honesty, Tax

There are some ghost stories in Japan where - when you are sitting in the bathroom in the traditional style of the Japanese toilet - a hand is actually starting to grab you from beneath. It's a very scary story.
Shigeru Miyamoto

Story, Actually, Hand

Sometimes the beauty is easy. Sometimes you don't have to try at all. Sometimes you can hear the wind blow in a handshake. Sometimes there's poetry written right on the bathroom wall.
Ani DiFranco

Beauty, Poetry, Try

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous.
Ani DiFranco

Famous, Rich, Able

I think more and more people want to live alone. You can be a couple without being in each other's pockets. I don't see why you have to share the same bathroom.
Jeanne Moreau

Alone, Live, Why

Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is.
Billy Carter

Good, Home, Beer

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly.
Rod Stewart

Nothing, Started, Singing

I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on set, I don't have to go to the bathroom, I don't have anything wrong, I'm perfectly fine, so through-and-through. I'm not hungry. I'm literally not even in my own body.
Kristen Stewart

Funny, Working, Wrong

As a kid, I'd go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I'd be in the bathroom crying, studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles.
Adam Sandler

Future, Mirror, Studying

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.
Catherine Zeta-Jones

Success, Marriage, End

I guess I'm not that metrosexual. My bathroom cabinet is hardly overflowing with products. I only really have my stuff for shaving. I can't honestly say I moisturise, though I probably should.
Clive Owen

Though, Stuff, Guess

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
Robert Benchley

Children, Small, Old

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom.
Kiefer Sutherland

Two, Show, Mercy

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue!
Carrie Underwood

Sleep, Light, Wake

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Booker T. Washington

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