If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice, I would have English Channels round every country. And the atmosphere would be such that anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
Winston Churchill

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Speak the truth, do not yield to anger; give, if thou art asked for little; by these three steps thou wilt go near the gods.
Confucius

There are horrible people who, instead of solving a problem, tangle it up and make it harder to solve for anyone who wants to deal with it. Whoever does not know how to hit the nail on the head should be asked not to hit it at all.
Friedrich Nietzsche

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?
Ayn Rand

When you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it.
Theodore Roosevelt

Obedience of the law is demanded; not asked as a favor.
Theodore Roosevelt

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Steven Wright

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
Steven Wright

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, "Well, what do you need?"
Steven Wright

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
Steven Wright

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Groucho Marx

I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting money.
Andy Warhol

Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not.
Pablo Picasso

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Erma Bombeck

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'
Mitch Hedberg

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.
Henry David Thoreau

Always fall in with what you're asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever's going. Not against: with.
Robert Frost