Accountant Quotes

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
Ellen DeGeneres

Funny, Child, Ask

If you can manipulate news, a judge can manipulate the law. A smart lawyer can keep a killer out of jail, a smart accountant can keep a thief from paying taxes, a smart reporter could ruin your reputation- unfairly.
Mario Cuomo

Smart, Judge, Law

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession; a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
Charles Lyell

Good, Call, Credit

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.
Bob Newhart

Able, Public, Accounting

My neighborhood was rough, but I live a great life now. I don't fight that much now. I don't look for it anyway, but if someone hits your mother, whether you're a star, an accountant, or an astronaut or anything... I mean it's your mother, so I lost my mind.
Shia LaBeouf

Life, Great, Mother

I do what I do, and write what I write, without calculating what is worth what and so on. Fortunately, I am not a banker or an accountant. I feel that there is a time when a political statement needs to be made and I make it.
Arundhati Roy

Time, Political, Made

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle

Why, Company, Shy

Put you energy into music. If it fails you, you can become an accountant or a dentist. And then if you become a dentist or an accountant, it's too late to become a musician afterwards.
Peter Tork

Music, Put, Energy

If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.
Ray Romano

Father, Once, Hugged

One day my wife went and saw the accountant and said she's pulling the plug. She said you guys are done. I said, how bad can it be? 10 grand? She said you're not even close. It came out to almost $50,000 in alcohol for two months.
Zakk Wylde

Wife, Bad, Done

Now is the time to draw a clean, clear, bright line and say if you are engaging in speech over the Internet you do not have to check with your lawyer or your accountant. You are a free American, and you have the opportunity to engage in free speech over the Internet.
John Doolittle

Time, Free, American

You earn very little money on independent films and I'm the provider for my home, so I do have to think of taking one for the accountant time and again and that means studio pictures.
Vera Farmiga

Time, Money, Home

If I wasn't singing, I'd probably be, probably an accountant.
Janet Jackson

I would say that IQ is the strongest predictor of which field you can get into and hold a job in, whether you can be an accountant, lawyer or nurse, for example.
Daniel Goleman

Job, Whether, Hold

My father was an accountant and his father was a typographer.
Umberto Eco

I had the opportunity to go to law school, and my dad, who was an accountant, couldn't believe I wanted to walk away from that and start cooking.
Curtis Stone

Dad, School, Law

For almost anyone who chooses to be a writer, since so very few writers are able to learn a living from their work that is equivalent to the living earned by the average dentist or accountant.
Russell Banks

Work, Living, Learn

People don't really know themselves until they're 30. Like most people nowadays, I went to university, got a degree and wandered for a bit. I trained to be a chartered accountant, which I didn't much enjoy, and it was only slowly that the idea of becoming a creative writer gelled.
Wilbur Smith

Enjoy, Creative, Idea

I'm in exactly the same position as everybody else who has a small business. I mean I get loads of money, all from different sources. You give it to your accountant. They manage it.
Kenneth Robert Livingstone

Money, Business, Mean

I've been told to speed up my delivery when I perform. But if I lose the stammer, I'm just another slightly amusing accountant.
Bob Newhart

Another, Lose, Speed

My money goes to my agent, then to my accountant and from him to the tax man.
Glenda Jackson

Money, Him, Goes

No, when I worked as an accountant I was falling asleep waiting for 5 o'clock.
Heston Blumenthal

Waiting, Worked, Falling

My dad is a bank president and my mom was an accountant and they didn't think that seeking the life of a freelance writer was very practical, you see. Of course, I was just as determined to do it.
Kevin J. Anderson

A lot of the younger Indian generation are either IT geniuses or doctors - the number of doctors I've seen in L.A. who are Indian is just crazy. So it is a very common thing. Or an accountant! That again is a very, very big thing.
Freida Pinto

Crazy, Big, Again

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?
Jackie Mason

Wanted, Playing, Hear

My parents wanted me to work in a bank or as an accountant.
Bruno Tonioli

Work, Parents, Wanted

I didn't do anything differently than what my father was doing. It's a really hard family to rebel in. I could have become an accountant. Or I could have become a Republican.
Justin Townes Earle

Family, Father, Hard

So this guy, Jeff Johnson, who is an accountant who cares nothing at all about a free press and cares nothing about journalism, he's a right winger who supported the war, you know, who two years ago told people he couldn't stand a word that I wrote.
Robert Scheer

War, Nothing, Two

And the big issue here, I think, is that the publisher took over the editorial pages, a guy named Jeff Johnson. He's an accountant from Chicago, doesn't know anything about what newspapers are supposed to be about, and he made a decision to get rid of the column.
Robert Scheer

Decision, Made, Big

You can make a very good argument that society would be much worse off if you let 10 rapists and murderers free rather than put one poor, wrongly accused accountant in prison. And so my only point on that is that it should open up an argument. It should not sort of settle one, because nobody disagrees with it.
Jonah Goldberg

Good, Society, Free

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