Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
Tom Waits

Don't you know there ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.
Tom Waits

George Bush is a fan of mine, he came to see me in the Seventies. His coke dealer brought him.
Tom Waits

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.
Tom Waits

I'm just trying to make a buck like everyone else.
Tom Waits

I'm so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.
Tom Waits

It's hard to win when you always lose.
Tom Waits

The big print giveth and the small print taketh away.
Tom Waits

The piano has been drinking, not me.
Tom Waits

Their memory's like a train: you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away And the things you can't remember Tell the things you can't forget that History puts a saint in every dream.
Tom Waits