Steven Wright Quotes

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Steven Wright Quotes

Type: Comedian Quotes Category: American Comedian Quotes Date of Birth: December 6, 1955 Nationality: American Find on Amazon: Steven Wright Cite this Page: Citation Related Authors: George Carlin Mitch Hedberg Bill Cosby Groucho Marx Rodney Dangerfield W. C. Fields Mel Brooks Bob Hope	1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Steven Wright At one point he decided enough was enough. Steven Wright Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!' Steven Wright Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country. Steven Wright Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Steven Wright Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Steven Wright Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter? Steven Wright Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night. Steven Wright Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it. Steven Wright Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. Steven Wright For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. Steven Wright George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk. Steven Wright Hermits have no peer pressure. Steven Wright How young can you die of old age? Steven Wright I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. Steven Wright I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it. Steven Wright I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. Steven Wright I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. Steven Wright I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list. Steven Wright I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add. Steven Wright 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5

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