Spike Milligan Quotes

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
Spike Milligan

Money, Happy, Chance

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Spike Milligan

Funny, Sure, Tree

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
Spike Milligan

Funny, Father, Influence

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.
Spike Milligan

Health, Old, Keep

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Spike Milligan

God, Light, Said

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
Spike Milligan

Happiness, Money, Bring

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Spike Milligan

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
Spike Milligan

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Spike Milligan

Afraid, Dying, Happens

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
Spike Milligan

Thought, Why, Reading

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
Spike Milligan

Perfect, Working, Order

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
Spike Milligan

Funny, Long, Army

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.
Spike Milligan

Hand, Piece, Ten

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.
Spike Milligan

Money, Enemy, Friends

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.
Spike Milligan

Friendly, Hands, Prove

It's all in the mind, you know.
Spike Milligan

I can speak Esperanto like a native.
Spike Milligan

Funny, Speak, Native

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
Spike Milligan

Joke, Until, Somebody

I'm a hero with coward's legs.
Spike Milligan

Hero, Coward, Legs

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.
Spike Milligan

Marriage, Perfect, She

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Biography

Nationality: Irish

Born: April 16, 1918

Died: February 27, 2002

Links

Find on Amazon: Spike Milligan

Cite this Page: Citation

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