Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.
Sam Kinison

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
Sam Kinison

I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry.
Sam Kinison

In the last couple of years, I guess I've spent six figures on clothes. I figure I spend a lot of time shopping. Eight to ten days a month, I go out and buy. Yeah, I guess you could say that I'm a real clothes whore.
Sam Kinison

It was like going to church, except Ozzy Osbourne was there.
Sam Kinison

Jim Bakker. He's lost everything, he's ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!
Sam Kinison

There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
Sam Kinison