Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.
Russell Baker

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity.
Russell Baker

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
Russell Baker

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.
Russell Baker

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
Russell Baker

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
Russell Baker

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.
Russell Baker

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools.
Russell Baker

You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.
Russell Baker