Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White

But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
Ron White

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!
Ron White

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Ron White

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
Ron White

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
Ron White

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White


I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White

My goal is just to become a better comedian.
Ron White

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.
Ron White

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
Ron White

The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White

The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Ron White

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
Ron White

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
Ron White

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
Ron White