Ron White Quotes

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White

Funny, Life, Find

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
Ron White

Silent, Ability, Remain

The next time you have a thought... let it go.
Ron White

Funny, Time, Thought

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
Ron White

Wisdom, Today, Tomorrow

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.
Ron White

Work, True, Saying

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
Ron White

Truth, Wanna, Hammered

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.
Ron White

Death, Trying, Mine

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
Ron White

Diet, Real, Everything

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!
Ron White

Her, Diamonds, Minute

Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
Ron White

Anybody, Skin, Penetrates

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
Ron White

Good, Peers, Comedian

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.
Ron White

Great, Rock, Live

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
Ron White

Life, Times, Run

I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
Ron White

Long, Down, Guy

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.
Ron White

Great, Last, Actually

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
Ron White

Done, Jokes, Throw

But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
Ron White

Work, Else, Write

Everybody I know is a joke writer.
Ron White

Joke, Everybody, Writer

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
Ron White

Everything, Creative, Somewhat

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
Ron White

Child, Comedy, Fan

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
Ron White

Good, Bad, Small

My goal is just to become a better comedian.
Ron White

Goal, Become, Comedian

The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.
Ron White

Thought, America, Team

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
Ron White

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Biography

Nationality: American

Born: December 18, 1956

Links

Find on Amazon: Ron White

Cite this Page: Citation

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